For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

Monday, March 19, 2012

HE Chose Me... be Momma to seven beautiful children, some by birth and some born in my heart
... to raise them to Love and Honor Him
... to meet the challenges that each day of this parenting journey brings
... to parent children with special needs, some physically present and some with scars from the past
... to parent children who struggle to feel loved and accepted
... to parent children who have never known what unconditional love is
... to make this a whole family in spite of its faults, struggles and weaknesses
Truth is He chose Me... He chose me because He believes in Me... He knows the plan ...

 For I know the plans* I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper* you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.*  Jeremiah 29:11

Truth is He chose me(us) because He knows that I (we) can make it ... in spite of the challenges and struggles. Truth is He wants to boast in Me (us).

"He permits and sometimes even dictates difficulty for those in whom He boasts so that they will prove what He already knows is true. The Lord does not put us to tests that He knows in advance we don't have the wherewithal to pass. He boasts in His faithful followers then lets them prove Him right. Sometimes the person most shocked by the proof is the human put to the test." Beth Moore, Mercy Triumphs

Truth is He knows of my(our) struggles with these hurting children. Truth is He knows how it will all end. Truth is He loves me and He loves my children. He wants what is best for us all.

" God knows how everything will turn out. And, and for every single person who belongs to Him, it turns out well. We are not the exceptions. Neither our sins or our sufferings are big enough to offset the ordered outcome" Beth Moore, Mercy Triumphs

It is now that I must choose to meet this challenge and these struggles because I know that God has placed them in my hands. The struggles and challenges are hard. This journey, the journey of adoption and parenting, is HARD. Parenting hurt children is the hardest parenting I (we) have ever done. It is not the same as parenting a child who you have raised from birth. A hurting child has never known the love of parents, never had stability and never know permanency. It is a constant battle to keep the hurting child on the right path and to build a "moral warehouse" in that child,. It is one struggle after another to keep that child from controling everything(because this is how they kept their lives from unraveling), to keep that child from domineering and taking over the family. It is difficult to comfort that child when they do not even know why they are hurting. Loving a child who has never know love and has no way of knowing how to accept love brings lots of hurts. It hurts them because they have only known rejecttion, and it hurts you because they can only reject your love over and over. Many times it is a struggle within yourself to love a child that just doesn't "seem to fit".   And, in spite of each and every one of these challenges, He Chose ME... He knows that I am worthy of this challenge... Me?, Me? Really God,Me???
I feel very unworthy of the Love and blessings that God lavishes on me. Often, I feel as if I have "messed this challenge up". There are many days that I have to force myself to get out of bed and put one foot in front of the other. There are other days that I (we) celebrate a "good" day if we make it with only one argument. I know that with each day, month and year, I (we) will arrrive closer and closer to God's plan.
On this day, I am choosing to take up the challenge!  I am choosing to face the challenges in a positive way! I am choosing to do anything necessary for all of my children's lives! I am choosing to Trust in you Lord!  I am choosing to Honor You Lord! I am choosing to LOVE!